Dissolving Sexual Worker Dependence

~"Every Addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through Your Own pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to - alcohol,food, legal or illegal drugs, People or Sex-You are using Something or Somobody to cover up Your Own pain."~

-Dissolving Sexual Worker Dependence- The Seminar


CASE 1: A 28-year-old homosexual man spent evenings "cruising" local parks, public restrooms for sexual contacts. This activity consumed several hours a day. His primary outlet was sex with multiple anonymous partners. When he learned that the majority of gay men in his city had tested positive for the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), he began to worry constantly about his risk of contracting AIDS. Still, he was unable to change his unsafe sexual practices despite repeated promises to himself to do so.

CASE 2: A 52-year-old married minister had a 10-year history of sexual involvement with female parishioners who came to him for counseling. He experienced marital stress because he was often away from home in the evenings "counseling" rather than spending rime with his family. Overcome by remorse and guilt, he promised to break off with the women. However, he was unable to avoid new involvements. After several women came forward with their stories, the minister was fired, evicted from his church-owned house, and publicly humiliated. He and his wife moved away, where she supported them with her teaching income.

CASE 3: A 32-year-old woman from a rigidly religious family married an alcoholic. After 2 years of marriage, she became involved in what was to be the first of many extramarital affairs. To prevent detection by her husband, she withdrew from him emotionally and neglected the marital relationship. She recognized that she was not spending enough time with her children. Despite feelings of guilt, she did not seek help until she cheated on her new lover.

CASE 4: A 50-year-old married business executive neglected sales calls when out of town and visited massage parlors and prostitutes, despite knowledge that he was risking HIV infection. He was once an effective salesman, but his work performance suffered because of his sexual pursuits. He took alternative routes on trips in an effort to avoid massage parlors, but he was unable to control his urge to visit these establishments. His wife learned about his sexual activities when he was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover policewoman posing as a prostitute. At that point, his marriage was in jeopardy, his children and friends shocked, and his job future uncertain.

HELP!! IAM ADDICTED TO HOOKERS

I have a serious problem and addiction to hookers. It started out as fun and spending a wild evening with the guys, but now i cant be a day without picking up a hooker and sometimes twice a day. I have been with a whole range of them from the $2000 high class to the $30 street hookers. Its ruining me not only emotionally but financially too. I just love the adventure and adrenaline involved with being with a hooker. Is There any kind of treatment for hooker addiction? Pls Help.

Why would seemingly balanced, rational and reasonable men go to great lengths and risks just for a momentary thrill?

~"Whoso is simple, let him turn and head in her direction, and as for him that lacks understanding, she said to him: 'stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant'. But he does not know that the Dead are there...and that her guests are in the Depths of Hell."~

-Proverb 9:16

When sexual behavior is compulsive and continued despite serious adverse consequences, it is addiction. Sex addicts tend to sexualize other people and situations, finding sexual connotations in the most ordinary incident or remark. They spend great amounts of time and/or money in pursuit of a "quick fix." Any sexual behavior can be part of the addictive cycle: The context of the behavior must be considered to ascertain whether the behavior is compulsive. What is healthy sexual behavior for many people may be unhealthy for others, just as the use of alcohol causes no adverse consequences for most people but severe problems for some.

Sex addicts describe a euphoria with sex similar to that described by drug addicts with drug use. This may be an effect of endorphins and other endogenous brain chemicals, whereas the drug-induced state is externally produced. Milkman and Sunderwirth(6) have classified sexual addiction as an arousal addiction because its effects on the brain are similar to the effects of cocaine, amphetamines, compulsive gambling, and risk-taking behaviors. In contrast, addiction to alcohol, sedatives or hypnotics, and food are considered satiation addictions.

Like alcoholics and other drug addicts, sex addicts behavior engage in distorted thinking, rationalizing, and defending and justifying their behavior while blaming others for resulting problems. They deny having a problem and make excuses for their behavior.

~"It is a stroke of Good fortune to find One who is worth seducing...Most people rush ahead, become engaged or do other stupid things, and in a turn of the hand everything is over, and they know neither what they have won nor what they have lost."

-Soren KierkeGaard

~"They who are happy with What they have and Who they Are...are Not easily Seduced."~
-My Dad

On the basis of a survey of about 600 self-identified sex addicts, Sex addicts usually participate compulsively in more than one type of sexual behavior. For example, they may masturbate compulsively in addition to viewing pornography and patronizing prostitutes. Although some sex addicts are hyper-sexual, seeking sexual intercourse or orgasm several times daily, most are not. For the addict who has affairs, the euphoria may come from the thrill of the chase and conquest rather than £from the sexual experience itself. Many sex addicts report progression of their addiction; that is, they have to take increasing risks or try new sexual behaviors to maintain the same euphoric effect.

Sexual difficulties are common in families of sex addicts. The great majority of sex addicts (82% of almost 900 addicts in Carnes' survey had been sexually abused in childhood). Among the male addicts, 3% were forced to have sex by their fathers and 11% by their mothers. Others (41%) were abused by neighbors, business associates of their parents, or strangers, while 8% were molested by other adults in authority.

In some families, there was no overt incest, but a heightened sense of sexuality was present. Sexually explicit material may have been available, or sexual comments (eg, a father remarking on his daughter's anatomy) were made repeatedly. Privacy in the bathroom and bedroom may have been lacking. - Children who come from families that lack emotional support and nurturing tend to be vulnerable to sexual exploitation. Children who are sexually abused may grow up fearing sex, confusing sex with love, or believing that the only way to relate to others is sexually. Others may be troubled by "repetition compulsion," in which they become perpetrators of sexual abuse.

More than half of sex addicts surveyed come from a rigid, emotionally disengaged family. In such families, discussion of sex may be taboo or sex may be considered disgusting. As a result, children grow up lacking accurate information about sex and believing that sex is powerful and dangerous.

Like chemical dependency, sexual addiction is a family disease. Spouses of sex addicts, or "co-addicts," usually grew up in a dysfunctional family, where they acquired a set of core beliefs that resulted in low self-esteem and difficulty in relationships. They may believe that they are not worthwhile, that no one could love them for themselves, that they can control and are responsible for others, and that sex is the most important sign of love.

Spouses of sex addicts were often sexually abused in childhood and thus have fear or confusion about sex. They tend to be attracted to individuals who are needy, which describes most addicts. Co-addicts usually fear abandonment, often cannot imagine life without their partner, and are willing to accept behaviors that healthier persons may find unacceptable. For example, in a survey of 78 recovering co-addicts, 52 (66%) said that they had participated in sexual activities that they found uncomfortable. These included viewing pornography, swapping sexual partners, and having sex in public places.

~"I do not approach her, I merely skirt the periphery of her Existence...This is the First Web into which she must be spun."~

-Soren KierkeGaard

~"A person will desire any object so long as he is convinced that it is desired by another person whom he admires."~

-Rene Girard

Many coaddicts fear refusing sex; others use sex to control and manipulate. Those whose sexually addicted partner prefers other sexual outlets (eg, compulsive masturbation, hiring of prostitutes) may go for years with out conjugal relations, often at great cost to their emotional well-being. Since the sex addict's primary relationship is with the addiction, the partner justifiably feels unimportant and unloved.

All too often, couples who seek marriage counseling because of sexual problems are advised to add variety to their sexual repertoire or to do more to please each other sexually. Some marriage counselors may not understand that the sexual problems are an addictive pattern, not a marital issue. Often, the co-addict takes responsibility for the marital discord and fruitlessly works at finding a solution, as illustrated in the following case.

Case 5: A 36-year-old woman, the mother of three small children, was raised by a rageful alcoholic father and a dependent mother. She married a man who also had an alcoholic parent. Over the course of their marriage, he had multiple affairs. He denied the most blatant evidence of his philandering until she at times doubted her own sanity. Although she knew he was having sex with other women, she did not dare deny him sex for fear he would leave.

Frightened of confronting her husband and expressing her anger, she had bouts of depression and periods of overeating. During her second pregnancy, she contracted gonorrhea from her husband. Although she felt intense guilt about risking her fetus's health, she continued having sex with her husband. She expressed intense shame when she disclosed her home situation to her physician.

She became progressively obsessed with her husband's infidelity and would drive around town at night, with her three small children, looking for her husband's car. When she found his car-at a girlfriend's house-she would send one of the children to ring the doorbell and ask daddy to come home.Despite her recognition of how hurtful this behavior was to her children, she was unable to stop.

Eventually she sought counseling, joined a self-help group for spouses of sex addicts, and later divorced her husband.

In Life...Creating and Choosing Relationships is commonly done Irresponsibly and Unconsciously, and almost random procedure.

In This Seminar we will remove this Quality of Unconscious randomness, and Discover...Your Real, Until Now unknown, purpose in Being with a Particular person.

There are certain assumptions we have about Men ad Women of which we usually are not aware, and we live as If these assumptions were So True as not to rate conscious Review.
Instead of examining these assumptions...We Live them Out.

You will be shown the Unconscious methods You use to Create a person into Your Life, thereby leaving you with the ability to allow this to be done by Intention rather than by waiting for "It" to Happen..

The Power of Hearing these Items verbalized manifests itself in the freedom to Be how We are, as Women and Men.
Without apology. Without regret.

At the Core of our Lives...the Original Restriction in the Experience of Being Loved, is derived from the primal relationship with Parents.
Through Lecture, Process and Sharing...be Prepared to take the Relationship with parents to its Core.

Break Free from Your Dependence on Sexual Workers.

Take back Your Power to Transform your Reality.

Explore and Embrace Monogamy with a Renewed sense of Purpose.

This program is not for everyone...It may not Be for you, but for someone You Know...

Reach out and have a Conversation...